This is the best motherfucking website.
Seriously, what the fuck else do you want?
You probably build websites and think your shit is special. You think your 13 megabyte parallax-ative home page is going to get you some fucking Awwward banner you can glue to the top corner of your site. You think your 40-pound jQuery file and 83 polyfills give IE7 a boner because it finally has box-shadow. Wrong, motherfucker. Let me describe your perfect-ass website:
- Shit's lightweight and loads fast
- Fits on all your shitty screens
- Looks the same in all your shitty browsers
- The motherfucker's accessible to every asshole that visits your site
- Shit's legible and gets the fucking point across (if you had one instead of just 5mb pics of hipsters drinking coffee)
Well guess what, motherfucker:
You. Are. Over-designing. Look at this shit. It's a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobytes to your fucking site, and some motherfucker jabbing at it on their iPad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit. Not to mention blind people will never see that shit, but they don't see any of your shitty shit.
It's fucking lightweight
This entire page weighs less than the gradient-meshed Facebook logo on your fucking Wordpress site... (etc.)